(Just a Few of) The Federal Benefits of Marriage Equality

What we didn’t have yesterday.


You mean people didn’t used to qualify for these things?

Married people qualify for these things. Which means in most states, same-sex couples do not.

That’s the joke! Ha ha haHaHaHA! Ha… ha…

I’m sad, now.

But in all seriousness, I’m so happy this is getting around even more. I was excited when I compiled this, though I have to admit, I was a little more optimistic that it would either be 1. legal in all states by now, and/or 2. common knowledge for people. Yes, our rights are significantly less than your average person and it does indeed suck. Our state still inflicts a shitton of red tape upon K’s and my marriage, and we still don’t have basic rights. Tax season is a goddamned nightmare, and that’s the least of our worries in regards to state laws and regulations.

This is SUCH an important thing for people to see, because it’s absolutely ridiculous that same-sex couples have no where near the same rights as a cis male and cis female couple. THE FACT THAT YOU COULDN’T GET TIME OFF IF YOUR SPOUSE DIES IS INFURIATINGLY CRUEL, and it’s still something you can’t do in all states yet.

Worse yet: States that don’t recognize same-sex marriages can and HAVE contested all of the Federal Rights that were granted to same-sex couples like us.

In fact, even with Obama’s hospital visiting rights bill AND these Federally mandated rights, if Stiffler wanted to visit me in the hospital, the State could easily say “NO” if **ANY** of my blood relatives were present (even ones I haven’t seen/talked to/cut out of my life) and said that Stiffler couldn’t be in the same room as me, despite my wishes or government laws.


Even with all of the paperwork we have filled out (Power of Attorney, Medical Power of Attorney, Living Wills, etc., etc.,), even despite being together for over a decade as a couple, even despite having joint bank accounts, even despite our marriage certificate that was legally granted to us in MA, even despite our entire worlds revolving around each other —- all it would take is for ONE shitty blood-relative, whether they’ve been in our lives or not, to say “No, I don’t like gays.” And that would be that. In most cases, the State would grant them more permissions than my goddamn SPOUSE.


And that’s to say nothing of all of the other State laws and bullshit we’ve been put through because of them, including but not limited to being denied housing because we’re same-sex, being denied a pay-raise because I don’t have a “real” family, and being denied pet adoption because “friends” can’t adopt, jumping through numerous hoops to get a joint bank account that are easily granted to “actually married” couples, etc., etc. Going over all of it again is just frustrating and upsetting, and that’s to say nothing of the “non-law-laws” as I call them, like being questioned about ‘Couples’ events we try to attend together. 

Fuck. Fuck. FUCK.